Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
