In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
