Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
