there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
