Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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