I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
