We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
