I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
