East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
