We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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