So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
