I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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