he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
