Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
