Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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