we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
