my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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