It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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