thus making me awesome and them whores
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
