I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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