At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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