drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
