idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Im part way to drunk.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
