I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
