even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
