as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
