I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
