the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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