The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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