i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
