shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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