dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
