very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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