is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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