he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
