She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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