can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
