Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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