Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
