I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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