Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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