i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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