Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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