I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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