She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
