Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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