His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We don't watch enough power rangers
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
