Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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