My nipple is on Facebook.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
