Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
