So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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